Get some sleep.
Don't give advice.
Don't be afraid of anything beyond your control. Don't be afraid, for instance, that the building will collapse as you sleep, or that someone you love will suddenly drop dead.
Know that the desire to be perfect is probably the veiled expression of another desire—to be loved, perhaps, or not to die.
Don't stay angry about anything for more than a week, but don't forget what made you angry. Hold your anger out at arm's length and look at it, as if it were a glass ball. Then add it to your glass ball collection.
Live with an animal.
If someone murders your child, get a shotgun and blow his head off.
Look at that bird over there.
Calm down.
Don't be too self-critical or too self-congratulatory.
Don't think that progress exists. It doesn't.
Imagine what you would like to see happen, and then don't do anything to make it impossible.
Appreciate simple pleasures, such as the pleasure of chewing, the pleasure of warm water running down your back, the pleasure of a cool breeze, the pleasure of falling asleep.
Do one thing at a time.
Be calm in a crisis. The more critical the situation, the calmer you should be.
Contemplate everything's opposite.
Keep your childish self alive.
Take a deep breath.
Walk down different streets.
Dig a hole with a shovel.
Be kind to physical objects.
When there's shooting in the street, don't go near the windows.
—from How to Be Perfect, by Ron Padgett
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