To confound the sight of their eyes.

It’s important to deny

what can still be denied

what cannot be denied

even more so
until biology,

history,

mathematics,

until the knock

on the door,

until they enforce compliance,

until they stand you against the wall

and shoot you full of hypocrisy,

until you’re leaking fantasy

from a hundred holes

and your eyes won’t close

and your dreams lie splayed,

dissected,

pinned to the board—

and even then to deny

to deny with your teeth

splintered backward in your mouth

your skull imploded

under the batons

your tongue in the dirt

under a boot heel

to deny it all

even the simplest self-evident things:

your name

your age

your sex

your friends

your family

your webwork of affiliations

to deny that you are even here

ever were

to confound the sight

of their eyes…

where, then, can they find you

when the warrant is issued,

who will they use to betray you,

where, when it comes time

to fall,

will they set the stone

on your spirit

from at last bursting free?

—Emily Szabo-Birch